Mickey: Come one, come all! [laughs] Welcome back to another episode of Secondhand Confessions.

Pugly: Welcome back, everyone.

Poppy: Hey guys.

[Theme song]

Poppy: I love Thanksgiving, but I, I think I love Christmastime more.

Mickey: Mhm.

Poppy: And yes, I am very excited for December. I love December.

Mickey: Today is December 2nd. Can you believe?

Pugly and Poppy: Yeah.

Mickey: I can't. [laughs] I literally, I saw my phone yesterday, and I was like, “This says December… Something's wrong.” Like—

Pugly: It’s a glitch.

Mickey: —there’s a glitch. [laughs] Yeah. Like it was literally just January, you know? Um… But here we are, about to start it all over again. I do love Christmastime. It's the only thing about winter that's nice.

Poppy: Yeah…

Pugly: I love how you just interrupted her transition—her beautiful transition—to her own story and—

Mickey: Oh! My bad.

Poppy: No, it's okay. [laughs]

Mickey: Is that what was happening? I'm sorry. I’m so bad at reading signals…

Pugly: You’re like, “When I look at my phone, it says December. I can't believe it. It was almost, it was January just a second ago.” [laughs]

Mickey: You guys. This is me on stimulants. This is why I should never take my stimulants. [laughs]

Poppy: L. O. L. It's because you also have been drinking coffee lately. Like, I personally take something to help me not stimulate. [laughs]

Mickey: [laughs]

Poppy: Yes. Little Lexie.

Mickey: This morning—[laughs]. Little Lexie.

Poppy: My friend, Little Lexi. She helps me calm down. She helps me calm down.

Mickey: Yeah… Um, I started my day with a huge coffee, and then around noon, I was like, I need to take a stimulant. I actually didn't need to. I was already hyped up like Jack, but, like, I was going to see my psychiatrist. And the last few times I've been going, they tested my urine, and I was… I'm, it's normal, but like, someone was like, “You know they're testing to see if you take your meds, right?” And I, notoriously never take my meds because I'm like… I just wanna have it just in case. I don't even sell it. I don't give it to anyone; I don't sell it. It's just in my room just in case.

So I took a Ritalin. I was already crazy. I took it, and I went to a workout. Worked out for an hour.

Poppy: That's so bad. [laughs]

Mickey: No, I was literally—if my um, if my physical, what's his name? If my personal trainer is listening, I'm so sorry. Today I like almost fainted twice. I, I walked it off, but I was like, “Oh yeah, this is… just need a second.” [laughs] And then they didn't test my urine.

Pugly: Aw, that's unfortunate.

Mickey: Anyway, sorry, I hyperfixate when I'm on my meds. Here I am talking about my day. I'm interrupting… [laughs] Anyway, Poppy, what were you gonna say?

Poppy: Oh, I just love Christmas. But how fun would it be to talk about family drama, ex-wife drama, and Christmas all together in this one story that I found? Or a post, I should say.

Pugly: Yes!

Mickey: Or an article as Pugly says.

Poppy: This is, also let this marks the first episode that Poppy reads a confession.

Pugly and Mickey: Ooh.

Mickey: Well, it sounds very intriguing.

Poppy: I hope this story is as good to you guys and our listeners as much as it was to me. [laughs]

Pugly: I'm excited for it.

Mickey: We're ready.

Poppy: Okay, here we go. So this is from the original post. Hold on, let me wet my whistle.

Pugly and Mickey: [laughs]

Poppy: Okay, here we go. “I (38F) feel really upset that my boyfriend’s (43M) ex-wife is staying at our house at Christmas with their kids, making us have to stay at my apartment. How can I get over this?”

Mickey: Sounds like it could go either way, like, of who's wrong, honestly. I like this one. Not for them. Not for the poster. Sorry to the poster. But I like it for me. [laughs]

Pugly: [laughs]

Poppy: There's gonna, I feel like there's gonna be a woman at the end that is just heartbroken. We don't know which one.

Pugly: Or maybe two.

Poppy: You're right about that. Okay. Are you ready to dive in?

Pugly: Yes.

Mickey: I’m ready.

Poppy: Okay. I don't want to be difficult or unreasonable. I can see how this is the most practical way to do it. It just made me feel like he is too much involved with his old family unit and puts her before me. And I don't know how to move forward without resentment.

Also, I don't want to talk with him about this right now ‘cause I'm so sure it would turn into an argument. If I said no, it would not be a nice holiday for any of us anyway. So I just need to process it with you guys, and will deeply appreciate any thoughts on this matter.

Some backstory: They have been divorced for about 9 years, but they have a very close co-parenting relationship and friendship as well. He has been relying on her a lot. He left ‘cause she cheated on him, and I think part of him still wants her, though he denies it. They talk almost every day, and I feel like he has too weak boundaries with her. I have tolerated and accepted this, but now I just think it went a bit too far.

Let's just take a pause there. She cheated on him.

Pugly: But I get the sense that there's gonna be some cheating on his part too.

Mickey: [laughs] Pugly, you cannot stand it when a man is not in the wrong.

Pugly: Exactly. [laughs]

Mickey: [laughs]

Poppy: Yeah.

Mickey: Oh… That's crazy. I can't, I can't imagine being in her position where you feel like your boyfriend is not over his ex who cheated on him.

Pugly: But that's what makes me think he's going to cheat with her on his current wife or girlfriend? Or what was her status?

Poppy: Girlfriend.

Pugly: Girlfriend.

Poppy: But they're, like, they have a house together.

Pugly: Right.

Mickey: But she kept her apartment.

Pugly: Mhm… So she doesn't really trust that this is a full-fledged, fully committed relationship.

Mickey: Maybe, maybe not.

Poppy: I suppose.

Mickey: I'd be interested to see if it's his house that they stay at most of the time. I would kind of be like, well, why not, like, stay at the apartment? I don't know. That's just me.

Pugly: Do you, what do you think about the friendship? Is that acceptable or no?

Poppy: That they talk every day?

Pugly: Oh, did, did she say that?

Poppy: Yeah, she said they talk almost every day, and I feel like he has too weak boundaries with her.

Pugly: Okay, the weak boundaries, mmm…

Poppy: So that means not only do they talk often, but he's doing what she says.

Mickey: Mhm…

Pugly: “But now I just think it went a bit too far,” she says, so yeah, I’m curious what—

Mickey: Yeah. Like, what is it?

Poppy: Uh huh. Should I continue?

Mickey: Yes, please continue because I want to know, what is it that has her feeling like he's not over her, you know?

Pugly: I mean, yeah, because he's letting her stay at their place.

Poppy: Right.

Mickey: Okay, but, okay. Think about, but, okay, hold on, sorry, sorry. But like, just an argument for when you have a child with someone, like they, and they're, they become a part of your life forever. Like, I don't know the circumstances, but like, if, if it's like, she lives far away or something, like why not?

Pugly: But why—she kicked, she kicked the girlfriend out.

Poppy: Yeah!

Mickey: She kicked her out or he did?

Pugly: Who cares? It's her damn house.

Poppy: Yeah, exactly.

Mickey: I thought, sorry… Okay, we, I just need to hear more, I think. I don't need to speak on it before I hear more, yeah.

Poppy: Okay. So, we have been together about a year now, and the plan was for my son (11) and me to move into this house that we found together in the summer when he had to move out from his old rental apartment. I bought my apartment in the beginning of our relationship, and I have to live here a few more months before I'm allowed to rent it out.

I had been looking forward to spending the two weeks of Christmas holiday at the house. We spend a lot of weekends there and the whole summer. My son is not 100% convinced yet that he wants to move there, so I was thinking that giving him a really nice Christmastime there would make him more comfortable and would make it feel more like home.

Also, it's really close to my parents' house, where we will celebrate Christmas Eve. But from my apartment, it's a 45-minute drive, and I don't really want to do that on Christmas Eve. Now I can't even have a glass of wine at the party. If we stayed at the house, we could just take a cab or even walk the dogs back home. It's only about a 30-minute walk. I think I would rather just sleep at my parents' house then, but I doubt that my boyfriend wants to.

I was looking so much forward to the first Christmas in our new house. And now my negative feelings make me feel like I don't want to go there for the New Year weekend either, when it is his turn to have the kids again. Also, I don't like that her and her boyfriend sleep in our bed and get to enjoy my beautiful Christmas-decorated house that I don't get to enjoy.

I love Christmas, and it's a bit sacred to me. And I wanted to make it so nice for my son and for my boyfriend's kids (who are 13, 15, and 17) when they got back home from Christmas with their mom. Now it's just ruined, and I have to change my thoughts and plans…

Mickey: Okay, what the hell? Like, sorry, I misunderstood. Because what fucking reason—sorry to curse, I’m so mad—what fucking reason does he have? I didn't realize it was like her house. Like, I thought it was just like they were early dating, and she would sometimes stay at his place.

Pugly: Hm…

Poppy: Yeah, no, like they… I mean, maybe she was under the impression that that was their house, you know? Because like, she doesn't stay there full-time. So that means that he hasn't fully asked her to move in, right? That's what I'm getting from it. Why wouldn't you have moved in already?

Mickey: Well, she said that she has to stay in the apartment for a little while longer.

Poppy: Oh my God, I'm the one reading it, and I forgot that.

Mickey: [laughs]

Pugly: [laughs]

Mickey: No, but like, it's, it's, he's like, acting as if it's his house. Isn't it her house? Sorry, like, do they co-own it or…?

Pugly: They said in the title, it said “our house” in the title.

Mickey: Well, even if they co-own it, it's wrong for him to do that, but like, still, like, it feels like he's acting like he owns it by himself, you know?

Pugly: Yeah, I mean who is this bitch in the bed is what I want to know.

Mickey: [laughs]

Poppy: Right.

Pugly: Like, what the fuck is she doing in the bed with him?

Poppy: Sleeping in my bed? Sleeping in my bed with your dumb boyfriend?

Pugly: Amongst my Christmas decorations? No, bitch, you go to your house, and you sleep in your Christmas-decorated environment.

Mickey: Yeah. No, like stay home, like do not leave your house.

Poppy: Get a hotel.

Pugly: Get a hotel, get a motel, or sleep on the street, bitch, but don't sleep in my bed.

Mickey: Nuh uh. And matter of fact, matter of fact, matter of fact, take your ex-husband with you.

Poppy: Right. Can I be honest with you?

Mickey: Always.

Pugly: Sure.

Poppy: I didn't fully read this before I chose it. I just read like the first paragraph, and I was like, “Ope, this is gonna be good.”

Mickey: [laughs]

Poppy: And then I skimmed through it and then I was like, “How fun would it be if we're all shocked?” [laughs]

Mickey: [laughs] I love that. I think we should do that.

Pugly: The writing here is not high quality, so I'm, I'm a little shocked by everything that happens. Apparently the boyfriend was the boyfriend of the actual woman that's in the bed with him. It's not, it's not going against any, you know, social norms here.

Poppy: No, no, they're not cheating. Like, he's not cheating.

Pugly: Okay.

Poppy: No, no, no, no. She has a new man that she brought, and she's got the audacity to put herself and her new man in this woman's bed.

Pugly: Okay, then where is—Wait, does she have her own separate bed, or does she sleep in the same bed as—does the OP sleep in the same bed as her boyfriend?

Mickey: No, no, no. There's one, like, let's say there's one master bedroom.

Pugly: Okay. So she's overtaken it, and neither the OP or her boyfriend are accessing it right now.

Poppy: Right, right.

Pugly: Why is he not causing a ruckus about this?

Mickey: I don't know… He, he, okay… Every man we read a story about is either a giant dick or a cuck. [laughs]

Poppy: Yep.

Mickey: I'm sorry.

Poppy: No in between. No in between men here. There is no in between.

Mickey: What the hell? Like, grow some fucking balls. [laughs]

Poppy: The in between people are… just, yeah, non-existent.

Mickey: No. What do you mean? Like, you're gonna let your ex-wife and her new boyfriend—your ex-wife who cheated on you—and her new boyfriend sleep in your, you and your girlfriend’s bed.

Pugly: What, where is he sleeping?

Mickey: At her apartment. At the new girlfriend’s apartment.

Pugly: Ohh. Okay, okay. At the OP’s apartment.

Mickey: Whew! I'm getting heated. This man…

Pugly: So they basically, they gave the house up to this other couple.

Mickey: Yeah.

Pugly: Okay. And their kids.

Poppy: Yep.

Mickey: Yep.

Pugly: Okay…

Mickey: Wow.

Pugly: There's still more to the story.

Poppy: Yes.

Mickey: Oh, God.

Poppy: She can't fit all three kids and her boyfriend in her apartment. She only lives with one of them, and two are with my boyfriend. She has stayed at our house three or four times before when we have been traveling on holiday or she wants to be with all the kids at once. And that's been okay with me, but now it’s Christmas…

I know that both of them don't care about Christmas the same way I do, so they probably don't see how I feel about that aspect. But I was looking, I was really looking forward to spending two whole weeks there, and it's not fair that it's been taken from me. It feels like he puts them before us. I understand he wants the best for his kids, but maybe she could have rented an Airbnb or something. I feel like that would be more natural. But she wants to save money, I guess.

Mickey: Um, just get an air mattress like the rest of us.

Pugly: Yeah. Or a couch.

Mickey: Yeah. [laughs]

Poppy: She doesn't… Like, that has nothing to do with the kids, you know? The kids will have somewhere to sleep.

Mickey: My parents put me on freaking cots when we would go to hotel rooms. They're gonna be fine. [laughs] The kids are gonna be fine.

Poppy: I've slept on the carpet before at my grandmother's.

Mickey: Yes! It's fine. [laughs]

Poppy: You will be just fine.

Mickey: Yeah. Yeah.

Poppy: Don't kids like to sleep on the floor anyways? It's like…

Pugly: Why can't they take the apartment and they—and the OP and her boyfriend get to keep the house?

Poppy: That's what I would have done if I had to absolutely have her nearby.

Pugly and Mickey: Yeah.

Poppy: Like, you can make the drive, you can figure out how to drive back and forth if I'm giving you somewhere to stay. That's the least you can do.

Pugly and Mickey: Yeah.

Mickey: And also, he's not respecting you already. Like, he doesn't respect what you want already. Bad sign.

Poppy: And they're staying for two weeks? Like…

Mickey: Wait, two weeks?!

Pugly and Poppy: Yes. A full Christmas holiday.

Mickey: That's two weeks long?

Pugly: I mean, like, winter break.

Poppy: These must not be Americans.

Mickey: Oh. [laughs]

Pugly: Winter break, we get, like, two weeks off.

Mickey: Oh, you mean from school?

Pugly: From school. There are kids involved in this, remember?

Mickey: Yes, yes, yes. I just thought it meant, she meant, like, for Christmas.

Poppy: But what kind of parents can take off for two weeks?

Mickey: Yeah. Does her boyfriend not have a place to live? Like…

Poppy: No, he's a scrub. He's probably a scrub. Because it said unfortunately it, you know, this isn't an ideal situation, but she can't fit all three of her Children in one house together with her boyfriend in her apartment. She only lives with one of her kids. The other two live with the dad.

Pugly: Oh…

Poppy: Because she doesn't have room for them. I mean, that's unfortunate, actually.

Pugly: It is unfortunate.

Mickey: You shouldn't have had so many kids—I'm just kidding. [laughs]

Poppy: If she didn't have that boyfriend, or if the boyfriend was maybe contributing…

Mickey: Yeah!

Poppy: Then maybe she could fit all her kids.

Mickey: Why is her boyfriend just like a fourth child for her? She's, he's just tagging along.

Pugly: This may be a hot take. But I do wanna say… if there's three kids involved and you don't have space for them, death to one of them. [laughs]

Mickey: [laughs]

Poppy: [laughs] It's time to sacrifice one of them.

Poppy: It's time. Um, we're talking about the boyfriend, right? We should sacrifice the boyfriend so that she could have all of—

Pugly: I like that idea.

Poppy: Yes. So she can have, so she can have all her kids together.

Pugly: They can probably fit two of the kids on the bed, right? In place of the boyfriend?

Mickey: Yeah. Yeah. [laughs]

Pugly: And then they just need a couch.

Poppy: If you don't put those little rugrats on the carpet.

Pugly and Mickey: [laughs]

Poppy: On the rug.

Pugly: Aw, those rug rats.

Mickey: Honestly, I do remember a few times like where my parents and me and my sister would sleep in a king bed together just because it's like cozy. Like, we're like, we're on a trip, there's only one hotel room left, it has a king bed, we’re good. And then we do sardines, like tail-to-tail… What is it called?

Poppy: Head to toe?

Mickey: Head to whatever. Yeah, head to toe.

Poppy: You used to do this with who?

Mickey: Me and my sister in the middle. My parents! And me and my sister. When were little.

Poppy: [gasps]

Mickey: Y'all never did that? [laughs]

Poppy: No.

Pugly: Can't say that I did.

Poppy: My parents would either… My parents would get two beds. [laughs]

Mickey: [laughs]

Pugly: Yeah.

Mickey: Lol.

Pugly: Yeah, we got two beds.

Poppy: Yeah. I don't think our parents loved us that much where we were just like suffocating them.

Mickey: My parents are clingy.

Poppy: [laughs]

Pugly: Yeah, we, we, we know…

Poppy: We know that. It's okay. It's out of love.

Mickey: Yep. [laughs]

Pugly: There was an edit on this story, by the way.

Mickey: Oh…

Poppy: Yes, there was an edit. Thank you, Pugly.

Pugly: No problem. Just wanted to rein us back in.

Poppy: Okay, so edit: I just found out it's not just a few days, it's a whole week! Just to clarify, he is not staying there with them; he wants us to stay in my apartment while they are in our house.

Pugly: Okay. Thank you for saying that.

Poppy: Yes. Yes. She adds on: My son and I don't live there yet, and I don't pay rent yet, but we stayed there for 8 weeks in the summer, and we go there almost every weekend. We are (or we were…) planning to move there after I'm allowed to rent out the apartment I bought just around the time I met him. In the area where the house is, is where my son grew up and has all his friends.

My boyfriend is the one responsible for the renting contract, but my name is also on it, and my mom borrowed him $2,000 USD for the bond (cue in the non-American), which he has paid back, but just to show that I was very involved with getting the house, so it is mine too. And both my son and I have a lot of our things there.

About it being practical, I meant that they don't really have a place to stay, and it is possible for us three to stay here in my apartment. But it's not what I want, and it just doesn't sit right with me because of our history.

Thank you all so much for your answers. It really helped me see how messed up and unnormal our situation truly is. It has made me question his long-term intentions with me, and his intentions with me overall. He said once while drunk that he lives in this house just for the sake of his kids, and he can't wait until the next chapter of his life starts. And now this gives a whole new meaning to that. And I'm over here wanting to build a life and family together with him… It makes me feel a bit silly now…

And it should, girl.

Mickey: Wow.

Poppy: Don't be a clown for this idiot.

Mickey: Mhm…

Pugly: Nuh uh.

Mickey: What does that mean—"I'm only here… Or I'm excited for this house only because for my kids.” What does that mean?

Poppy: Also, she said that her name is on it—the house. Girl, if your name is on that house…

Mickey: Go claim what's yours. [laughs]

Poppy: And… I am so angry right now.

Mickey: Speechless.

Poppy: Like, stand up for yourself! Like, what are you doing? Your name is on the house. Like…

Mickey: One revelation. Um, one revelation she just showed is that they're renting the new house; they didn't buy it, which I didn't realize. And that they're renting it together. So they're both responsible.

Poppy: Okay, so she's, what, she's… She's probably a cosigner.

Mickey: Yeah.

Poppy: Like, for him.

Mickey: Mhm.

Poppy: That's what she means. ‘Cause like, it's not like… He's not the primary resident on the lease, but she's a cosigner with him.

Mickey: Well, you can have two people on the lease.

Poppy: Oh, that's true. That's true. I'm honestly just trying to make him look bad.

Mickey: I know. [laughs] If one person breaks the lease, it's broken. Like… that's it. The other person has to leave.

Poppy: Okay, yeah.

Mickey: Right? I'm pretty sure.

Poppy: Um…

Pugly: Well, we don't know what country they're in, so the rules may not be the same as…

Poppy: That's so true. They are not in our country. The fact that she said that he, her mother paid for his $2,000 USD bond…

Mickey: Yeah.

Poppy: What are you doing?! Getting in trouble is what you're doing.

Pugly and Mickey: [laughs]

Pugly: But he has paid it back, she said.

Mickey: Mhm. I don't know.

Pugly: Anyway, there was something she said earlier that I thought was weird about how her son didn't want to go over to the house or something. Like, did y'all catch that?

Poppy: Oh yeah. Yes.

Pugly: Like, I'm just wondering what makes him not want to. Is it like he doesn't like the boyfriend or something?

Poppy: And her son is 11, so I feel like he's got, like, enough social skills to know if someone's like… if he likes someone or not.

Pugly: Yeah, exactly.

Mickey: Intuition.

Poppy: Yes.

Mickey: It could be that, or it could be that he's just used to the apartment, maybe?

Pugly: You'd think he'd want to be over there with the other kids that are around his age. One of them was 13, I think.

Mickey: And then, like, a lot of kids are just uncomfortable when their parents, like, have new love interests and, like…

Poppy: Also, he's an only child. He's an only child, and he would have to move in with three other kids.

Mickey: Yikes.

Poppy: And 11 is like, almost preteen years where, you know, that phase where we were all weird?

Pugly: Still am.

Mickey: [laughs]

Poppy: Yeah. I’m still weird too.

Mickey: Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I think, uh, [sighs], I like to give people second chances, but I'm like, what possible reason could he have not to want to house his ex-wife and their kids, but to do it without the approval of the person he runs this house with? That's the part. It's like… the sentiment is nice.

Poppy: Uh huh.

Mickey: You know? Like, “Oh, like, I feel bad. I wanna do something nice for them.” That's, he's a, he's being kind in, in thinking that way, but he's being unkind in making the decision without his partner who's, like, sharing his life, sharing that home with him… It doesn't matter if she doesn't live there yet; she's still paying for it. She's, it's still going to be her home. She's getting it ready. She has all her stuff there. It's her space too. So that's the part that's a red flag for me. And I don't know if, like… I don't know. I don't know if there's any teaching this kind of man.

Poppy: No, he's gonna, he's gonna do what he wants and, um, you know, him being drunk and saying like, “Oh, I, I, I'm ready for this next phase in my life.” It makes it seem like you're just in this phase and then, like, I'm moving on from you too.

Mickey: Mhm. Yeah.

Poppy: Oh. But then remember also she mentioned that he thinks she thinks he still wants to be with her because she's the one that messed up.

Mickey: Mhm.

Poppy: He might forgive her one day, I don't know. It seems like he still wants her.

Mickey: It's scary because you don't know: Has he already forgiven her and still wants to be with her, or does he still want to be with her but has not forgiven her? Because I feel like that's very, two very different things. Because if he has forgiven her and he's, and he's like, he's just being nice or whatever, that's one thing. But if he has not forgiven her and he's acting this way, that's the, that's the time that I would suspect that—

Pugly: This is beyond being nice though. Like, even if that's what his excuse is, this is beyond that. She needs to go find her own place to have with her own family and her own boyfriend and be separate from this situation that isn't hers. She doesn't own the house, she doesn't own the decorations, she doesn't, you know, it's none of her…

Mickey: Yeah. They need to have better boundaries.

Pugly: Indeed.

Poppy: This is crazy.

Pugly: Speaking of boundaries.

Mickey: [laughs] Yeah.

Pugly: Um, Mickey, do you have another story for us?

Mickey: I do. I do have a story for you, but um, first I wanna tell our dear listeners, uh, I wanna announce something to them. Um… And that's that we have a new segment on the show, and it's called “Employee of the Month.” And today's Employee of the Month goes to Pugly.

[Applause]

Poppy: Congratulations!

Mickey: Thank you, Pugly! Congratulations! You win Employee of the Month for… pretty much doing everything on this podcast, like editing, setting us up, figuring everything out—

Poppy: Scheduling, scheduling.

Mickey: Yes. Most… getting most of the stories.

Poppy: You make it possible.

Mickey: Yes.

Pugly: Well, I appreciate the award. I will carry this with me to the day I die.

Poppy: Aw, that's so sweet.

Mickey: We're putting you up on the wall. The metaphysical wall.

Pugly: Thank you so much.

Poppy: [laughs]

Mickey: And it's going to be you every month. [laughs]

Pugly: [laughs] Oh, I see. No one's going to take over, huh?

Mickey: I don't think so. [laughs]

Poppy: I don't think so.

Mickey: Me and Poppy just don't have it in us.

Poppy: You see how long it took me to come with my own confession?

Pugly and Mickey: [laughs]

Pugly: Well, I think that means you're, you're headed for Employee of the Month next month.

Poppy: Aw, you're sweet. You deserve it every month. We already got a plaque with your name on it for every month, so it can't be me or Mickey.

Pugly: That's great. I wish we had this at work. I, I had a little bit of a heart skip when I heard “Employee of the Month,” and I was like, “Oh my God, that's so great. I love that.”

Mickey and Poppy: [laughs]

Mickey: Woo! Okay, but can you, um, as part of your, as part of your job, can you edit in some applause? [laughs] Please?

Pugly: Okay. [laughs] I’ll try.

All: [laughs]

Mickey: Thank you so much in advance.

Pugly: Okay.

Mickey: Alright. So, moving on. Um, I do have a story that's kind of um about boundaries as well, but it kind of goes in the opposite direction. Um, it's, it's about… Well, I'll let you hear all about it.

[Theme song]

Mickey: Alright. So, this story, um, the title is: “Am I the asshole for not wanting to forgive my parents who used to be amazing because of one mistake they made in the past?”

Poppy: How big is the mistake?

Mickey: Yeah, right?

Pugly: Yeah. One mistake. It's only one, but it could be a massive one.

Mickey: Yeah. [laughs]

Poppy: He’s adopted.

Mickey: He's… [laughs]

Poppy: I don't know, that's all I can imagine. Like, but that's like in movies where, like, you're mad at, you know, you're mad because—

Mickey: You're adopted.

Mickey: Yeah, I'm just brain fart. Sorry, go ahead.

Mickey: No, it's okay. But I do feel like I didn't see this when I first read this, but it does follow that same Reddit, like almost like a guideline of like, everything was literally perfect until one thing happened. Um, I think that's so silly.

Poppy: Yeah…

Mickey: Alright, so let me get started. She said: Growing up, my parents used to be these amazing parents who were very attentive and caring to me and my siblings.

Except with an exception: that the two of them would always have their phones on “Do Not Disturb” from 10:00 PM to 7:00 AM. They told us it's because they value their free time and sleep and don't want to be disturbed during the night.

Pugly: Wait, I have a prediction on what this is now too.

Mickey: What?

Pugly: Um, is this, they're like swingers or something?

Poppy: Oh my God.

Pugly: I mean, I don't know that those hours are reserved only for swingers, but it just makes me think… [laughs]

Mickey: [laughs] “Oh, 10:00 PM, it’s swingers’ hours.”

Pugly: To 7:00 AM. Right before school.

Poppy: Oh, no.

Pugly: What do you think, Poppy?

Poppy: Oh, no.

Mickey: Don't read ahead. Don't read ahead.

Pugly: Don’t read ahead!

Poppy: I'm not! I was trying to find my place and then I got to the part where it was like the “Do Not Disturb.”

All: [laughs]

Pugly: And that was concerning.

Poppy: Uh, they have a, like a, a crazy, like 50 shades of gray, like, room or something, where they don't wanna be disturbed. It could be sexual.

Pugly: Yes, I think we're both going in that direction.

Mickey: Alright, let's read on. So she said: This was okay at first, until I was stuck in a situation where I really needed their help.

Around three years ago, when I was 18, I got this job as a server where I would work until 1:00 AM. And I was expected to drive myself home.

However, one day, I got into a car accident after work and got pretty badly injured. To the point that I'll never fully recover to this day, as I now have life-lasting injuries, and I'm considered as “disabled.”

And I was hoping that, just this once, my parents would answer me. Because I was scared and wanted someone close to me to be there for me. But as expected, it automatically went to voicemail, and they never picked up.

And that night, I also called other family members to ask them to contact my family or to come with me. And the only ones who were willing to come by to see me immediately were my grandparents. They also tried to call my parents as well. But as expected, they couldn't reach them either.

So it wasn't until around the next day at 7:00 AM when my parents finally heard what happened to me. But by then, I already felt like it was too late because they wouldn't respond after so long. And I was already out of surgery and awake by the time my parents finally came to the hospital, so I never felt like I really got their support because I already did that with my parents. Wait, I already got my grandparents’ support. They were there for me from the start.

And ever since then, I couldn't think about my parents as “amazing” anymore, and I couldn't forgive them for making me feel abandoned. Even if I knew that they would never pick up their phone in the middle of the night because they told me so beforehand.

Uh, I think I'm having a feeling that this person's first language is not English. Um…

Poppy: Yeah.

Mickey: So I’m sorry. Um, and ever since then, I was distant and refused to let them do anything with me, like taking me to physical therapy or my doctor's appointments. I only wanted my grandparents’ help.

Within the last month, after recovering enough to finally be able to go find another job that accommodated my disabilities and making enough money, I finally moved out of my parents' house and went no contact with them.

My parents and grandparents seemed to have an issue with that, because they are telling me that I'm being too harsh, especially since my parents profusely apologized and promised to keep their phones available at all times.

I know they have kept their promise to this day, since I know from my siblings that they can call them in the middle of the night, and my parents now answer their phones, even if it's past 10:00 PM.

However, that one event is something I feel like I can never forgive them for. While I feel bad for making my grandparents sad for not wanting to forgive my parents, I can't bring myself to do so after they made me feel so abandoned.

What do you think? Am I the asshole?

Pugly: Hm… Damn. That's a shitty situation for sure.

Mickey: Yeah.

Pugly: Like, I wonder if the parents had answered, would they have gotten to medical care sooner and that would have prevented the, the lifelong disability or…?

Mickey: I don't think that's what she's saying—or they're saying, sorry. I, I don't know if it's a, what the pronouns are. But, uh, yeah, I think it's just the support.

Poppy: Yeah, the support. Like, I don't think it's like that they weren't physically there. It's that it took until the very next morning. She spent all that time alone. Like, if my mom wasn't there or my dad wasn't there at the scene of the accident, they for sure would be at the hospital. Like…

Pugly: Yeah. I remember one time I got in a car wreck, and it was in the middle of the night, and, um, I tried calling my parents—both of them—and neither of them answered, so I had to get escorted home by a cop, and I, and it really does feel very… like you're, you're being abandoned, even though it's not. Like, they were just, you know, at some event or something.

Mickey and Poppy: Yeah.

Pugly: So they were busy. But it's like, it's hard to not feel like you've been abandoned in that situation.

Mickey: Yeah. Oh my God, Pugly, did you write this? Are you OP?

Pugly: No, I'm not disabled. [laughs]

Mickey and Poppy: [laughs]

Pugly: I mean, in some ways I am, I guess.

Mickey: Aren't we all?

Pugly: Yeah.

Mickey: Um…

Poppy: That’s funny.

Mickey: So what did you feel—can, no, can we expand on that a little bit, or can you expand on that a little bit? Like, like how did it feel like—Okay, I know you're saying it feels like you've gotten abandoned, but like, how did it feel when you finally saw your parents? Did you—I mean, I know it was a long time ago now, but like, were you like, “What the hell? Where were you guys?”

Pugly: I wasn't really angry. I was, I was actually really upset because I was like, “Oh my God, they're gonna, they're gonna kill me for having wrecked this car.” I don't, I don't even remember if it was my fault or not, but I just felt such guilt about it because it happened. And, um, I was just worried that they were gonna, like, you know, not kill me, but just—

Poppy: Be upset about the car. I get it.

Mickey: And were they?

Pugly: Which wasn't their reaction, no. Um… And I don't, I don't really have a rational reason to feel that way, because they've never really, like, prioritized material things over my safety. But, you know, I, it's just a personal, like, flaw, I guess, the fact that I view things that way.

Mickey: Yeah. I don't know. Like, so, I think because of how traumatic this event was for this poster, um… That's why the anger is so deep, you know?

Poppy: Mhm.

Pugly: Yeah… And it's weird because the title was something like… Okay, it's: “Am I the asshole for not wanting to forgive my parents who used to be amazing because of one mistake they made in the past?” So they're more amazing now because they're not doing that one mistake anymore.

Poppy: Right. Right.

Pugly: So why have they not, why have they not gotten over it yet? [laughs]

Poppy: Exactly. Like, they don't do it anymore. They stopped doing that.

Pugly: They learned from their mistake. That's the best thing in a person.

Mickey: Yeah.

Poppy: Exactly. They shouldn't have done it, but, you know, whatever. It, shit happens, they made a mistake…

Mickey: Yeah.

Pugly: Yeah.

Mickey: Yeah, you're so right about that. I think, like, I'm not saying this person has to forgive their parents now or, like, ever, or whatever. I'm not saying they have to, but I'm saying I would want to at some point.

Pugly: Yeah. It's a relief on yourself to not have… or carry that anger and resentment.

Poppy: Like, not letting them, not letting them take her to physical therapy. Like, come on.

Mickey: Yeah. Like she's… or they're hurting themselves, like, you know, whoever, I don't know. “They.”

Poppy: Yeah, exactly. They're the ones that are left without, you know, their parents.

Mickey: Mhm.

Pugly: Mhm.

Mickey: Yeah.

Poppy: Interesting…

Mickey: I, I do think that, like… I don't know, when was this written? Um… I can't tell anymore because it was deleted, but if it was a while ago, I do think that “Do Not Disturb” wasn't as sophisticated as it is these days.

Pugly: It was one month ago. Well, I, that was when the post was written, but I don't know when the event itself happened.

Mickey: Yeah. So, I'm just saying that like, maybe it was back in the days when “Do Not Disturb” was just like, it's literally just “Do Not Disturb.” Nobody comes through. I feel like that was a thing, right? Like, now you can set exceptions on your phone.

Poppy: No, always. Always, you could put, you could always have somebody on your favorites list, and if they call, it will ring, and then you can also, from the beginning, if anyone calls like two times within one minute, it will go through the like…

Mickey: Yeah.

Poppy: Like the third time, like then it will ring.

Pugly: Yeah.

Mickey: Okay, so that, I have a problem with. I have a real problem with the parents for not doing that for their kids.

Pugly: Yeah.

Mickey: You have a responsibility when you are a parent.

Pugly: To be available at all times.

Mickey: Yeah.

Pugly: Yeah.

Mickey: Yeah. You're like, literally signing a piece of paper. 18 years plus.

Poppy: Like, my parents, they don't sleep, they don't fall asleep—like my dad does, but my mom, she literally will, like, wake up periodically until I'm home.

Mickey: Mhm.

Poppy: Like, not now, because we don't live in the same place, but when I'm home or when I was a kid, like, most of the reason, or not “most,” but part of the reason why I couldn't be out later than a certain time is because my parents wanted to go to bed, and they couldn't sleep if I wasn't home.

Pugly: Mhm. Yeah. That’s… My parents are that way as well.

Mickey: My parents are honestly still this way. Like, to this day, if I'm late… Like, they're not nagging on me like, “What are you doing?” They're more like, “We want to go to bed.”

Poppy: Yeah.

Mickey: “So come home so we can go to bed.” [laughs]

Pugly: [laughs] Yeah…

Mickey: Yeah.

Poppy: So…

Pugly: So the fact that they could sleep so soundly without knowing their child was safely at home is a little bit—

Poppy: Who’s a server? Who's a server at night? A place where she stays until 1:00 AM?

Mickey: Yeah.

Poppy: That's usually like, you know…

Mickey: Dodgy.

Pugly: Yeah. Sketch.

Mickey: Mhm.

Pugly: Sketch hours.

Poppy: Those are sketch hours if they're, if it's, I mean… It's not gonna be a, I don't know what kind of restaurant closes early? Chick-Fil-A.

Mickey: [laughs]

Poppy: They don't have servers, but they sure do have a good chicken sandwich.

Mickey: They sure do.

Pugly: So what was your verdict then, Mickey? What, what did you, what did you think about this situation?

Mickey: I think, like, again… Like, I, I don't know how much the parents apologized or what they said. Were they just, like, kind of dismissive? Like, “Oh my God, okay, like, we're sorry, we're here now,” like… Or were they, like, “This was the, you know, such a terrible idea and you were right. We shouldn't have…” like, like, are they actually remorseful? Like, obviously they're showing up. You're right. Like, they learned from the mistake; they're showing up, which is more than most parents give, I think, like, especially when your child is teaching you. It's hard to learn from your child because you spend your whole or their whole life teaching them. So one day they start teaching you things, it's kind of an ego trip, I think, for a lot of parents. But it seems like these parents, like, they learned their lesson quick because their child literally almost died or whatever. Now has a chronic disability.

Pugly: Mhm.

Mickey: But the part that matters to a lot of people—like, there's two parts to, like, an apology. The first part is that you actually are remorseful, and you say the words, and you're like, you actually mean it. And that's just kind of like a feeling that the person gets when you apologize to them. And the second part is that you change your behavior. And it seems like they did the second part, but they didn't, maybe they didn't do the first part. Or maybe they're not willing to, like, the poster is not willing to hear out that first part? Because that's, I think that's the part that is still hurting.

Pugly: Yeah.

Mickey: Yeah.

Poppy: I feel that this is a young person.

Mickey: Oh, yeah.

Poppy: This is a young person. I'm assuming this is a young person.

Mickey: I think they're like 21.

Pugly: I think honestly, I think it might be tying into, like, feelings of resentment toward the fact that, you know, the disability happened at all. Like, the fact that—and I mentioned this earlier—that maybe they were concerned that if their parents had arrived sooner or something, the medical care would have been improved compared to whatever they received in actuality, but…

Mickey: Mhm.

Pugly: I don't know, like… And that might not even be a legitimate concern or, uh, a legitimate take to have on this situation, but it's, it might be something that's still running through their head just because it's like, you know, they want something or someone to blame for their, their condition.

Poppy: That's true.

Mickey: That’s true. And sometimes we blame those closest to us rather than like, whoever maybe caused the car accident or even if nobody caused the car accident to not have someone to blame, like, it's difficult. It's very hard.

Pugly: Mhm. Yeah.

Mickey: Because it's like, why? Why did this happen to me?

Pugly: Right.

Mickey: It's very traumatic, and I don't know the nature of the person's disability, but it seems like it's pretty bad.

Pugly: Yeah, I would think so. Nothing ever happens good at that, at those hours. Whatever.

Mickey: Mhm. Um, this one commenter, uh, says: I think your parents made a dumb mistake. The fact that they immediately changed their behavior after the accident shows that they care and have realized how badly they screwed up, not thinking about the consequences. I also think you are experiencing trauma and hurt. Leaving these feelings bottled up will just make them worse. If you think your parents would listen, it might be beneficial to tell them how you felt abandoned. It could help you both. Otherwise, a therapist might be the answer.

Pugly: We always recommend therapy here at Secondhand Confessions.

Poppy: Yeah.

Mickey: We sure do.

Poppy: Yes. Yes.

Mickey: When pigs can fly, we will not recommend therapy, or whatever. I don't know what the phrases are.

Pugly: Yeah. Maybe even something more unlikely than that.

Poppy: [laughs]

Pugly: Whatever that would be. [laughs]

Mickey: [laughs] When I can fly.

Pugly: Okay… But you can in an airplane.

Mickey: I can, I literally can. You’re right.

Poppy: That one doesn't count.

Pugly: A pig could go on an airplane.

Mickey: Um…

Pugly: But anyway…

Mickey: When Pugly doesn't immediately blame the man. [laughs]

Pugly: [laughs]

Mickey: At the get-go of any story.

Pugly: Alright, that is a true test.

Poppy: Yeah.

Mickey: Yeah.

Pugly: Um, I do have a story. It's quite short. It's short-ish. Do we have time for it or no?

Mickey: I do.

Poppy: Yeah.

Pugly: Alright. This is another boundaries… Are we, are, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Were we done with, um…?

Poppy: Yeah, we are.

Pugly: The other one?

Mickey: Yeah. Lay it to rest.

Pugly: Okay. You gonna chomp on some trail mix there, Mickey?

Mickey: Um, no, even though we've gotten a comment apparently…

Pugly: [laughs] About your eating habits.

Mickey: [laughs] That's me, girls. Whoever's listening, it's Mickey.

Poppy: That's hilarious. Was it a complaint?

Pugly: It wasn't a complaint. It was actually… It was kind of a, a complimentary, um, or a nicer sounding comment.

Poppy: That's funny.

Pugly: It was, it was someone named ToriOreo, and they said… Let me see if I can find it real quick… She said: “Not the eating while recording” tears streaming down the face emojis.

Poppy: That's, that is… Yeah.

Pugly: Yeah.

Poppy: We need a snack. We need a snack while we do this.

Mickey: Literally. I, you guys, when I log into our episodes and when I go to my online therapy, I arrive with a snack, arrive with a drink, with a beverage, a heating pad, and a jacket just in case. Otherwise…

Pugly: Well, make sure to mute yourself if you're gonna chomp on something.

Mickey: I do. But okay… One slipped out, sorry. [laughs]

Pugly: [laughs]

Poppy: And she always chooses crunchy things.

Pugly: Exactly! It's like she really wants the ASMR.

Poppy: Carrots…

Mickey: I just love life, you guys. And crunchy things remind me of life. It’s like…

Pugly: Well, don't be eating the E. coli carrots now.

Mickey: I don't eat carrots period.

Pugly: Oh, okay.

Mickey: Carrots are kind of like meh.

Pugly: I like them okay. But anyway… Alright, y'all ready for this next one?

Poppy: Yes.

Mickey: Yes. Go ahead.

Pugly: Y'all ready for this? [hums]

Mickey and Poppy: [laughs]

Pugly: Is that how that song goes? I don't even know. [laughs]

Poppy: Yes.

Mickey: I don't even remember anymore. Go ahead.

[Theme song]

Pugly: So this one is titled: “My (24M) girlfriend (23F) is staying at her sister’s (27F) until I ‘admit I have a problem and get psychiatric help.’”

Mickey: Damn.

Poppy: What did, what did he do?

Mickey: She's probably right. [laughs]

Pugly: What do you guys think? What do you think he did?

Mickey: Whew… What do you think, Poppy?

Poppy: I forgot what he… what the title was. [laughs]

Mickey and Pugly: [laughs]

Pugly: Okay. It’s: “My girlfriend is staying at her sister's until I admit I have a problem and get psychiatric help.”

Poppy: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay…

Mickey: You have to keep the full length of that pause in there, please, Pugly. [laughs]

Poppy: I think it's like an addiction of some sort.

Pugly: Ahh.

Mickey: Like, I think it may be porn or video games or…

Pugly: Classics.

Poppy: What other disgusting things? Yeah. The classics.

Mickey: Yes.

Pugly: Any, um, additional thoughts there, Mickey?

Mickey: Mmm… I think, um, he has a mom fetish. [laughs]

Poppy: A mama's boy?

Mickey: Yeah.

Pugly: Okay. Alright.

Mickey: He wants, you know, he wants her to be his mom.

Poppy: [gasps]

Mickey: Gross! [laughs]

Pugly: Alright, well, um, there is a trigger warning here: This story contains discussions of sensitive and potentially distressing topics including suicide and accusations of predatory behavior.

Mickey: [gasps]

Pugly: If you'd prefer to avoid these topics, please skip to the next chapter in this episode.

Mickey: Oof…

Pugly: So, the story is: This all started earlier last year. My parents were going through a rough divorce, and my dad attempted suicide, which left him not all there mentally, even though he survived. I basically have had to take care of him, and it brought me a lot of stress, as I am a full-time PhD student living off a stipend and nothing more. Between that and my girlfriend's income, we live decently in the city we're in, but there's not much room for this kind of responsibility financially. It definitely took a toll on me, and I got really depressed after a while and started struggling with severe insomnia.

I guess that is where this all took the biggest turn. My girlfriend was very supportive at first, and even when I was dealing with that, she understood. I've done my best to keep her out of it, which is why I initially started sleeping on the couch to not disturb her with my tossing and turning. Eventually, I just gave up on sleep altogether and started going on night drives. She was aware of this and didn't have any issues with it, but eventually, I started to be gone for hours, and she was getting worried. Understandably, I guess. We had a talk about it last month, and I explained what I usually do in hopes of clearing her mind. This is the part of the situation that I admit is difficult to explain.

Basically, after I had been going on these night drives for a while, there was one night where I came across a young woman crying outside a gas station. I felt bad for her and had nowhere to be, so I stopped to see if she was okay. Turns out she was a minor (16) and had a bad home situation. I offered to give her a ride somewhere because that part of town (or really any at 3:00 AM) isn’t particularly safe for an underage girl to be walking around, and she hesitantly accepted. I drove her to some house on the other side of town, and that was all there was to that specific interaction. The girl was obviously nervous the whole time, as I guess any teenage girl would be in a strange man's car, but I really just wanted to help. And it felt good seeing her relief when I actually took her where she wanted to go.

So basically, after that, I started driving around at night and looking for other girls/women that were by themselves and might need a ride. It took a while to actually find someone (which I guess is good?), but eventually I did, and it just kind of became a night hobby where I would drive around and give these girls rides whenever I could find them. Especially on the poorer side of town, I started to do this regularly. I can admit it's a weird thing, and a lot of people may wonder why I didn't just Uber or something, but that isn't the same. I specifically enjoyed helping people I felt actually needed it, and I got this unexplainable enjoyment out of seeing them go from anxious to relieved every time they got out of my car.

I explained that to my girlfriend, and she said it sounded extremely predatory. Which I was confused by, because I never even touched any of the girls. Especially since several of them were underage, and I’m not like that. She said it didn't matter if I did or not though, and it was just inherently predatory/weird. We had a big argument, but eventually, we made up, and I agreed to just stop going on night drives altogether. That was about a month ago, and things were awkward the entire time, but we lived together fairly peacefully until earlier this week.

I ran into some unexpected financial trouble last week when I suddenly needed new tires, and it put me in a bit of a bind with taking care of my dad and all. I ended up having to take on more credit card debt to get everything done, and basically, after that, I was just extremely stressed and ended up doing another night drive. I didn't even pick up any girls, but my girlfriend was waiting for me when I got home (around 5:00 AM), and we got into a big fight. She thinks I've been doing all that again. (I haven't. This was my first drive in general in all that time.) And she ended up just leaving to go stay with her sister. Basically, she said she is willing to work things out, but I need to get psychiatric help and “stop preying on vulnerable women, even if I think it's harmless as a means of coping.” I am already seeing a therapist, so I don't really know what else to do. I don't see that earlier behavior as predatory at all, and I haven't even done that in like a month anyway.

She just doesn't believe me. What more can I do besides continuing therapy?

Mickey: Ooh… This is a different one.

Poppy: Weird. What he's doing or what he enjoys doing—night drives?! Weird.

Mickey: He literally calls it picking up girls also.

Pugly: Mhm…

Poppy: And most of them are underage, he said.

Pugly: Yep.

Poppy: Ew. That is predator vibes.

Mickey: It is. And why isn't he also, like, just picking up people? Like, it's just little girls.

Pugly: Mhm!

Mickey: Young girls, whatever. Like, that's weird! And he, when he sees like young guys, is he not like, “Oh, hey, dude, do you need a ride somewhere?” Also, fucking get an Uber, like, whatever app. [laughs]  Get the Uber app.

Pugly: He mentioned that.

Mickey: Oh.

Pugly: Yeah. He said, “I don’t know, I don't know why I can't do that. It's just not… It doesn't scratch my itch.”

Mickey: What's the itch? What's the itch here?

Pugly: The itch, what is the itch?

Poppy: The itch is having the app track you and who you pick up and what you do and…

Mickey: Uh huh.

Poppy: He doesn't want it to be traced. He likes the thrill of just picking up random little girls. Weirdo.

Pugly: When he said, when he said the thing about how they're terrified and then the sigh of relief that they experience upon realizing I didn't murder or rape them or whatever. Like, it's like, bro, like what? You are a creep.

Mickey: Like either he is doing something to them and he's just not saying, or he gets off on like using them to like… I don't know, have this power but like, “Wait, I'm actually a good guy.”

Pugly: Nice guy energy.

Mickey: Mhm. That's weird.

Poppy: Yeah.

Mickey: Yeah, because that's the part; that's the part that feels good to him is that, like, he could, but he's not going to.

Pugly: Yeah. Yeah. He's a hero.

Poppy: Well, it's weird.

Pugly: It's weird.

Poppy: And I don't blame her. And I also, um… I also… Oh my God, I just had a brain fart.

Pugly: [laughs]

Poppy: I literally exert everything I have during the day that at nighttime, I'm useless.

Pugly: I understand. I feel ya. This is actually one of my favorite posts of all time on Reddit because of one of the comments that was posted.

Poppy: Do share.

Mickey: Do share.

Pugly: One of the top comments was, in quotes, “Yes, officer, I do drive around late at night looking for young girls in the sketchy part of town. No officer, I don't offer my help to dudes or old people, just young girls. No sir, I have no outlets for my altruism other than asking vulnerable young women to get into my car at 3:00 AM.

You realize how quickly this could go south for you even if you never do a single thing wrong, right? You gotta stop. Like, literally never ever do this again. And maybe ask yourself: if you can't find some other way to scratch the altruism itch, is it really altruism motivating you?

Boom. Mic drop.

Mickey: Literally.

Poppy: Yeah, that's good.

Mickey: Ate. Left no crumbs.

Poppy: This is like a crazy story honestly because it's so, like… It's so real.

Pugly: Mhm.

Poppy: You know? Like… I'm scared of men like that.

Pugly: Yeah. I have actual chills right now—I think because partially because of the weather, but also because this is such a creepy man.

Mickey: Yeah. [laughs]

Poppy: That's a predator.

Pugly: And it just goes to show that my philosophy, Pugly's philosophy, is correct. All men suck ass.

Poppy: Yeah.

Pugly: They can toss a salad.

Mickey and Poppy: Yep.

Mickey: They sure can.

Poppy: They sure did. Mhm.

Mickey: Um, I think most women, if not all women, have, can, like, recount an experience where a man late at night was like, “Hey, let me help you…” Whatever it is—get home, whatever, like, take you somewhere, like, let me give you… Whatever it is.

Poppy: The answer is no. No, no, no, no, no.

Mickey: Yes. The answer is no.

Poppy: If I saw a 16-year-old just stranded in the middle of nowhere, even as a woman, like, if it was a girl and it's me, a woman? Like, I still probably would just call 911?

Pugly: Mhm. Yeah, I mean, I might ask, like, “Hey, is everything okay?”

Poppy: I wouldn't leave her, like, I would stay with her until the police got there, but, like, I'm not taking you to the other side of town.

Pugly: Yeah. We're not hitchhiking. Yeah.

Poppy: I'm not, I'm not doing that.

Mickey: Or, like, I'd be, like, “Let's call your parents together.”

Poppy: [laughs]

Mickey: [laughs]

Mickey: She's like running… That’s true. Yeah, yeah, ‘cause she's like running away from home or whatever. She has a difficult home life. I mean, maybe home isn't the safe—

Mickey: Is that what it was?

Poppy: Maybe home isn't the safest place for her. Or any of these girls. I don't know.

Mickey: Okay. Does she have a phone? Like, buy her food, give her the phone number for a shelter, and contact the shelter, and be like, “There's this girl. What should I do?” And that's it. Period.

Pugly: Yeah. It’s like… I mean, I hate to equate people to animals, but it’s like, what would you do if you saw an animal on the side of the road? You're not going to just fucking take it in, and, like, you know, whatever. You're going to take it to the vet and see if it's okay—

Poppy: Right.

Pugly: —before you do these things. Not… I don't know. Like…

Mickey: Yeah.

Pugly: Get it checked out first.

Poppy: Check the girl out.

Mickey: Yeah. And then you're not going to keep searching for injured animals.

Pugly: [laughs] Yeah. Yeah.

Mickey: I mean, maybe some people will.

Poppy: That’s so true. Like, that’s…

Pugly: You don't build a hobby out of this, yeah.

Poppy: You don't go searching… Exactly. That's such a good point.

Mickey: Yeah…

Poppy: Which just proves that, you know what? I wouldn't even like, really… Like the whole psychiatric thing. Like, sweetie, if he's doing that, that part of his brain cannot be fixed. That is beyond help. Like, he might go, he might be able to see a psychiatrist for, like, coping mechanisms, but when people have problems like that where they are in pedophiles, I don't care if you're a man or a woman.

Mickey: Mhm.

Poppy: There, you're, you're just not wired correctly, sweetie.

Mickey: Mhm. Yeah, it's really fucked.

Poppy: That's never okay with me.

Mickey: And like, okay, the girlfriend is pissing me off too because like, okay, she recognized something that he didn't, I guess, which is good, and she moved out—she did put a boundary there—but at the same time, she was like, “I'll come back if you work on it.” I'm like, okay, realistically, like, [laughs] you're literally telling him that he's being a predator.

Poppy: Ugh.

Mickey: Okay, what's there to talk about? Like, what more is there to talk about? Like, I don’t know. I don’t know. I guess easier said than done, but like, seriously.

Poppy: There isn’t much to talk about.

Mickey: Yeah.

Poppy: She needs to leave. She needs to stay with her sister, and she needs to just break up with him. I wouldn't even tell him that was the reason. I would just be like, “Look, I just think we're like, on different paths right now, like…”

Mickey and Pugly: Mhm.

Poppy: “It's, uh, it's, it's over, it's over.”

Pugly: Someone also mentions that extreme sleep deprivation is equivalent to drunk driving as well, so it's not exactly safe what he's doing in the first place.

Poppy: Good point.

Mickey: So true.

Poppy: Good point. Makes it even worse.

Pugly: Mhm. Yeah. There's no redemption for this man.

Mickey: Well, I, I'm curious, did he update, or did any of the comments say anything interesting?

Pugly: There were no updates. Um, he, his profile is actually suspended, so there can be no updates.

Mickey: He was flagged.

Poppy: Oof.

Mickey: Because like, maybe… I mean, we are just taking his word for it, by the way, that he's not doing anything to these girls.

Pugly: True.

Mickey: But let's just believe it, you know. It starts out this way. And then he will—

Pugly: Mhm. Escalate.

Mickey: —move forward. Mhm. Since we are speaking on boundaries, it is like people who are like this, like, you know, predators, etc., abusers… They do test the boundaries, like, they see what's allowed, and then if you let them, they'll go again and again and again and again, and they go further every time. So that's what it feels like. It feels like he's doing that.

Pugly: Yeah. Well, that's a wrap, eh?

Poppy: Yeah, that's a… I still, I'm still thinking on that one.

Mickey: [laughs]

Poppy: [laughs]

Mickey: Well, thank you to our listeners for listening.

Poppy: Yeah.

Pugly: Thanks, guys.

Poppy: Thanks for joining us.

Pugly: And gals and non-binaries and all of the above.

Mickey: Everybody.

Pugly: [sings unrecognizable song] “Everybody…”

Mickey and Poppy: [hum unrecognizable tunes]

Pugly: [laughs]

Mickey: I think we're all singing three different songs.

Pugly: Yeah, I don't even know, I don't even know what song I was singing, to be honest. It was, it was kind of a mixture of different ones.

Poppy: Ohh… I gotta go to bed. [laughs]

Mickey: Alright… [laughs]

Pugly: Everybody wants to be in bed.

Poppy: Yeah.

Mickey: It's December, bitches. Go to bed. [laughs]

Poppy: Goodnight.

Pugly: Alright, bye, everyone.

Mickey: Sleep tight.

Poppy: Bye.

Mickey: See y'all next episode.

Pugly: See ya.

[Theme song]